Maybe It's Better This Way
by itsLALA
Summary: "Please don't go." But he says nothing, because he knows he has to go, but he loves to make you happy and the only way to make you happy is to stay but he knows he can't and he can't lie to you. So he stays quiet, its better this way. -Troyella. R&R!


**I wanted to try something new. So tell me if you like it please? **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Maybe It's Better This Way

_She was pretty sure it was wrong._

:.:.:.:

You sit there, going over all the pros and the cons in your head. Subconsciously the pros start over weighing the cons and to your dismay once again you are proven that it is in fact wrong. Fact is fact you can't go against it. But then again, what if you just accidentally erase the whole mental paper you created having you left with nothing but the pros side? Then everything seems better again, but no. You do remember, you do remember why it is wrong, you do remember why it is labeled as illegal, you just remember how much you tried to forget.

But then he walks in the guy that started all your problems, you would call him the devil's son but you'd be calling your father the devil, he wasn't exactly related to you though. So what if in some cases it wasn't all that wrong? So some light gets shone on your problem everything seems well, everything will go well. He speaks and suddenly it seems like your heart stops, everyday his voice seems so much more masculine and powerful it draws you even closer.

Sitting beside you drawing long strokes up and down your bare arm sending you chills making you want to do so much more…so much. But then you look down to your arm and his hand that are touching, making the hair on your arm stand, does he have such an effect on you? Is it a good thing? You look up and suddenly he is oh so close to you too close for comfort he is crossing too many lines to name. Just thinking about him makes your stomach churn could it be a good thing?

"Hey."

He whispers to you, why he whispered is beyond your imagination. But it set the mood right and you can't help but let a small smile form on your lips, you can't help but wonder what would happen if maybe, just maybe he'd lean in just a little closer and out of no where your lips would touch but no, that would be wrong, that would be very wrong. So you lean away, taking your still chilled arm with you leaving him confused and longing for your touch, you just don't know that.

Just sitting there on the same bed with him seemed wrong, your mind was running wild of the possible possibilities how could one human contain this much thoughts surely it wasn't safe. But it was happening, his face in your mind your naked body pressed against his own, it only made perfect sense, you guys fit together like a winter glove on a winter chilled hand. It only made sense. But then you suddenly get pulled harshly into reality before things get too out of hand and you realize, he's been staring at you listening to your soft moans but before he could say anything, your parents call you for dinner. Yeah, that's right, this is wrong.

…

You can't stand to sit across the dining room table and watch him chew on his food that is purposely taunting you, you swear everything is going in slow motion and hell is freezing over you just know it is because suddenly your parents mouths are going 1mile per second and he's staring at you like you're the most beautiful thing in the world that he's ever seen and you know it can't be right so you swallow, close your eyes and shake your head you have to stop thinking these things, it's not right.

But you open your eyes and realize your family was watching you, including him. You smile awkwardly things couldn't get any worse, but then your mom asks you what was wrong, you spoke to soon. You smile at her and tell her a lie, of course you feel guilty about it all but you couldn't stand sitting in front of him while his mouth moves in slow motion and he stares at you with the eyes you learned to love. So you excuse yourself from the table and run or clumsily jog up the stairs to your bedroom slamming the door on your way, so no one could hear the cries of pain.

You can't take it sometimes you wish you'd just die and all the pain would go away, but it doesn't work like that. Thinking like that is just being selfish you think about all the people that would be sad and all the people that would feel depressed at your death, things just wouldn't be the same. Then some how you let your thoughts wander on how he would react would he be depressed or go on about life like nothing ever happened? But you think the latter, so you start to sob again. You don't understand why you let yourself think like this, but it just happens. So you lay there your head buried in your soft purple pillow a part of you wishing for suffocation.

But you hear a soft knock on the door, wishing the person to go away you say nothing. But the knocking does not cease by this point you know who it is and you want nothing more but for him to leave you alone and go on about his life like nothing ever happened…because nothing did ever happen right?

But the door opens slowly, so your assumptions are confirmed it is him. If that were your mother she'd have open the door on the first knock and your father doesn't open your bedroom door unless given permission. You say nothing, you stop breathing afraid of him hearing you. Maybe life would be better if you'd die?

You feel your bed shift and weight pressed on, you know he's beside you and suddenly flashbacks from earlier start to reply in your head, maybe it isn't okay if you die? Maybe he'd do something with your body, to make everyone forget about you? But no, you can't think about that. You can't think like that.

He puts a hand on your back and runs that same hand up and down your back slowly, what is it with him touching you goes beyond compare but you don't complain you like it. Suddenly he puts a hand in your hair and somewhat massages your scalps, letting a little moan escape your mouth, but you regret it because he stops. You now find it to be awkward and sit up slowly, with every move regretting.

You look at him but then look back down your hair falling and blocking his piercing blue eyes from your face, its better this way.

It's quiet, and you like it. It's not an awkward silence and it's not a comfortable silence either. But you like it.

But then your heart stops, the news he tells you, good and bad, it could be taken both ways.

"I'm a half sibling."

But that wasn't it; you already knew that he was your half brother. That's why your eyes were brown and his were blue, you aren't stupid. But no, that's not what stopped your heart, that's not what made you almost scream out in agony, it was the fact.

"I'm going to college, in 2 weeks. I got into U of A."

That what stopped your heart, you was going to be alone in 2 weeks, no one to help you when you needed him, no one at all. So you thought back on your previous thought, maybe it was better if you died. Then you wouldn't have to be alone, maybe her real dad was up there somewhere if not her grandma would be with her for forever, so she was ready and set, all she had to do was go.

You feel his hand brush your hair behind your ears and you look up at him he's too close to you and this suddenly feels like De JA Vu, this isn't good. Your thighs are touching and you can feel his breath on your neck. His eyes slowly start to flutter and you think this is Gods gift but no, it couldn't be. God didn't praise Incest even if it were with a half sibling, this had to be the Devil's doing, but of course God had to butt into something that had nothing to do with him, because suddenly your parents walk through the door but you guys pull away faster then a rabbit can jump and thankfully they didn't see anything.

They tell you they came to see if you were alright from earlier and then they realize you were with him, the smile and say goodnight and head for their bedroom. They're your parents they don't mean no harm, but they have the worst timing ever!

When they leave it becomes awkward between you and him you don't know what to say and you can tell he is contemplating on whether or not to leave or stay, but he picks the first one.

He bids his goodbye and goodnight and leaves you with nothing but a kiss to the forehead; this gives you a reason to sob throughout the night. This is why life sucks for you.

…

Throughout the rest of the week you and him avoid each other, nothing going through your mind but the _what would have been_ when you guys pass each other. Would things have been different if you guys fell threw with your actions? You ponder to yourself on the last morning he has at home until he goes off to college, you rather not think about how in 24 hours he's leaving you and you'll be by yourself every single day not counting holidays.

You sigh, things won't be the same.

You hear footsteps come from the stairs and you quickly put your bowl of cereal away in the sick and stand against the counter your back turned to the kitchen door, then you feel a hand on your shoulder but you contemplate on whether or not to turn around and be face to face with something you could never have. Or to stay turned to the kitchen wall because well, things would be better that way.

But you could never have your way, his strong grip on your shoulder turned you around and pinned you to the counter, and at times like these you wish your parents weren't out but in the other room listening to everything that was happening.

You felt your breath hitch in your throat the proximity you guys were at was indescribable feeling his breath graze your neck your chest beat against his, his hands caging either side of you. It was like God was brutally punishing you for something you haven't yet done.

It was quiet though, only thing being heard was both of your heart beats and deep breaths but he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

What was he sorry for? What has he done? Ignored you for the past 2 weeks? No, you've done the same. Taunt you for the past 2 weeks? That could be it. But you couldn't get yourself to reply, his words made you weak his breath got you hot you wanted so much more to happen but you knew it could never actually all plan out.

He held your hand in his stepping a way from you a little giving you breathing space but you wish he didn't because you suddenly feel cold and unprotected, you suddenly feel the need to yank him back by his hand but you can't you can't build the courage to do something daring you just can't do it for it is too risky.

He looks deep into your eyes trying to read your poker face, but he can't. Thankfully.

Because you know this isn't right, you know what you guys are doing right now isn't right, half or full siblings you're blood.

He breaths in, "I shouldn't have done anything with you 2 weeks ago in your room."

And that's enough to make your heart sink; he regretted _what could've been_. He regretted everything. You pull from his hand and fell your legs again, you push off the counter and run away anywhere but where he was at the moment. You just run through the large house and find yourself climbing up something sub consciously you open your eyes and you're trapped so you turn around and walk to the closest thing you can sit on which happened to be a bean bag chair. You look around more carefully and realize you're outside in a tree house it wasn't just any tree house it was the tree house you, him and his father and your supposed father built when you guys were 7, you guys haven't been up here for years and it looks exactly the same, which only makes things worse, so you sob again.

Only if things could go back to when they were 7 when girls had cooties and boys were 'icky' when no incest was known.

You hear creaking of wood and you realize he is following you up the ladder so you hold your breath in hope he can't find you behind the big bean bag chair you are hiding behind, but to your dismay he does and he laughs like this is a laughing matter and he laughs out to you, 'you think I wouldn't find you behind the chair you'd always hid behind when we were 7?' he remembered, and that made your heart swell just a little bit. You got up and sat back down, you weren't talking to him. He was an asshole.

He sighed and ran a finger through his hair something he always did when he was frustrated, but what he did wasn't right and you'd never forget it, but you'd never hold him against it. You liked it too. He viciously picked you up by your shoulders and planted a kiss directly on your lips; you feel the kiss made with passion, angry, longing and lust. You fill the kiss in with desperation, and you guys just mix together so well you can't explain it.

But finally when air is needed you let him go, you don't want to but you know you have to. You guys don't say anything you just stare at each other your chest heaving and his chest moving at a steady beat.

You step back, what have you done? He's leaving to college in a couple hours and you practically made out with his face! He takes your arms and whispers to you, he doesn't regret it. Which only makes you smile you kiss him once more but here your front door open. You panic and run down the ladder into the back room pretending to watch TV, leaving him behind you.

Your parents come home with a college gift for him and your stomach cringe that's just another reminder he'll be leaving and you'll be lonely.

You run up the stairs and lock your room door, you don't care anymore that you kissed him, you don't care that he'll probably come up here and ask what's wrong, and you just don't care. So you burry your face in your pillow and hide under your blanket no one can disturb you now.

…

You wake up to loud banging on your door and groaning you get up and it takes you awhile to process everything that is happening but soon you realize today is the day! Panicking you get up and open your door to be tackled in a hug by none other then him.

"I thought I wouldn't get to say bye to you!"

He cries, not literally but you on the other hand are crying and clinging to him for dare life and you finally speak, you finally hear your voice but it comes out hoarse and raspy.

"Please don't go."

But he says nothing, because he knows he has to go but he loves to make you happy and the only way to make you happy is to stay but he knows he can't and he can't lie to you. So he stays quiet, its better this way.

You guys stand there hugging for a long time until you hear your parents calling him down. You know this is it. But you aren't ready, you're afraid you'll never be ready.

He whispers a last bye to you and leaves a lingering kiss on your lips.

You watch your fathers descending car leave the driveway and down the street and your left there to think,

_Maybe it's better this way._


End file.
